TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 8)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures & Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This week we have another 28mm figure from Giants In Miniature.  A limited edition of 500 this is number 305 of “Quartermain”.

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Dusting

She Who Must Be Obeyed has been on a house cleaning drive.  The place isn’t dirty but the kids are both away and she has elected to use the time to “Spring Clean” despite the fact that it is the summer and we are enjoying a heat wave down here in the South West.  It wont last, it never does, this is England after all.

It didn’t bother me that she had elected to go on this crusade until she handed me a duster and told me that my modelling desk and associated area needed cleaning.  Worse than that she had an expectation that the various cased dioramas and figures which I have about the house needed dusting too.  Anything for a quiet life I gave it a go.

So I dusted.  I dusted it all.  It took an age and then, guess what?  A few days later the dust came back.

Fucked if I’m falling for that again.

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What’s The Difference?

Have you ever wondered what the difference was between Erotic and Kinky?  Don’t lie, of course you have.

Well if you didn’t know Erotic is using a feather …

Kinky is using the whole chicken.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Slade and “Mama weer All Crazee Now”.  Live version.

Now if anything is likely to give your age away it is listing a track by this 70’s group.  This decade was my teens and as I think back I loved everything about it.  No responsibilities, no accountabilities and a general couldn’t give a fuck attitude.  This track was released in 1972 when I was fourteen.  OK, so we dressed and looked ridiculous but it was fun and for me possibly a time when some of the best music ever was produced.  This track may now be a good example of that but I am in a good mood and when I am like that the music has to be played loud.  Very loud.  Very, very Fucking Loud!  Put your ear to the speaker and enjoy the experience of silence for three days afterwards.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Into The Wild.

Based on a true story about a young man who chooses to live life off the grid and heads off on a journey to Alaska where he finds the Magic Bus.  Sounds weird but it is an interesting but very sad tale.

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The film is based on the life of Chris McCandless and if you haven’t seen it then it is, in my opinion, well worth a watch.  I have seen it several times but my son got into it and also put me on to a YouTube documentary which provided a further insight on the life of Chris as told through the lives of his family.  Fascinating stuff.  Check it out.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

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TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 7)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures & Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This week I have another pair of miniatures for you, both are figures from Artizan and can be found in the Thrilling Tales range.  The first is their take on Indianna Jones which for copyright they elected to call Kentucky Davies.  The figure doesn’t come with a whip so I decided to make one myself.  The second figure is Herr Tohdt which is a take off of Nazi agent Arnold Toht who appeared in Raiders of the lost Ark.

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Amazon Order

I needed a few modelling consumables so I placed an order with Amazon.  In an effort to resolve one of life’s conundrums I also decided to purchase a chicken and an egg.

I’ll let you know what comes first.

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Plymouth Model Show 2019

This Saturday just gone saw me attend my third show but only my second as part of the club, first time around I was simply a visitor.  An excellent day and well attended.  All being well the club will have made a reasonable amount of money which errs well going forward.

From what I was told most of the clubs from the South West area were in attendance and we also had two clubs who came over from France.  Some talented modellers from Caen in Normandy put on a great display and hopefully when I get to review my photos I will find that I have taken some of it!

I did enter a few things into the competition.  Managed a 2nd in the Diorama category, a 2nd and 3rd in Figures Under 60mm and a Highly Commended and a 1st place in the Miscellaneous category.  My Wizard Library was my 1st place winning entry which I was pleased with.   In all honesty I didn’t think it would win when I saw that I was up against an excellent scratch built model.  Generally, scratch built models done well, which they usually are, tend to score additional points giving them a head start which is difficult to make up so I was very pleased to have won.

As always met some great people, in particular a chap called Kev who does some amazing work and who I think administers a website called Planet Figure.  He invited me to join it as he thought my 28mm scale figures would add to the diversity.  He also encouraged me to attend a show called Bugle Call which is held in Bristol in November.  I said I would consider both but of the two I think I am more likely to do the show.

Next up is a trip to Cornwall and the Padstowe show on Saturday.  No competition at this one and a show I have not done before.  Still, should be fun.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… The Killers and “All These Things That I’ve Done”.

As the Killers were at Glastonbury at the weekend I was inspired to dig out and play the Hot Fuss album.  Classic.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Legends of the Fall, starring Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Aidan Quinn, Julia Ormond and Henry Thomas (who has grown up a bit since starring in ET).

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Without a doubt this is one of my favourite films.  I do like most genre’s but I do really enjoy sagas which span time and so for me they don’t come a lot better than this.  The cinematography is, in my humble opinion, stunning too.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 6)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures & Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This weeks mini as an Artizan figure which goes by the title Group Captain Villain and features in their Thrilling Tales range.  The model has an uncanny resemblance to Dick Dastardly which made him a must do figure in my book.  Crooked Dice also do a Dick Dastardly figure along with Muttley the dog, both are on my shopping list.

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Warning Labels

I ordered some new figures the other day and they arrived safe and sound.  Although they wont jump to the top of my painting pile just yet I was nevertheless keen to open the package and check that the contents for each were all present and correct.  Needless to say included in the packaging was the usual safety disclaimer about containing small parts, that the item wasn’t a toy and it wasn’t suitable for small children as it contained choking parts.

Now in my younger days such disclaimers never existed which got me thinking why that was.  I am sure there are several reasons why we didn’t have them but one over riding conclusion came to mind.  We weren’t that fucking stupid!

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What Do Miniatures Get Up To When Your Back Is Turned?

With the release in the UK of Toy Story 4 I thought this would be a good time to show you what miniatures get up to behind our backs.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Safety Dance (Dance Mashup), not the original by Men With Out Hats (although I like that too).

Two things I always wanted to be was a great dancer and a pianist.  Some where along the line the dream was lost in the womb and instead I was blessed with a great penis.  That’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess.

Meanwhile I have to listen to great music and watch others gyrate.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Gran Torino starring Clint Eastwood.  Now I must say I am a Clint fan but the guy is getting on in years now.  Not only is he looking his age but he has gone soft.  How do I know this?  A young Clint whatever the moral of the story would have killed all the little fuckers at the end.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

 

 

 

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 5)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures and Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This week we have two figures for the price of one!  Both 28mm figures are by Crooked Dice and are hopefully recognisable as Marty McFly and Doc Brown from Back to the Future.

Both nice figures to paint.  Tried my best to get the pattern right on the skate board and added a bit of freehand to Doc in the form of the radiation signage on his back.

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The End Of An Era

The other day I found myself conducting a modelling related google search.  Nothing unusual in that, it’s something I do often but on this occasion one of the suggested links was to a Military Modelling article and I chose to click on the link and explore further.  In next to no time I lost myself following lines of inquiry which had nothing to do with what I initially started out to investigate.  One link led to another until by chance I stumbled upon an old article which announced that Military Modelling Magazine was no more, it was now online only.

In this ever changing world this change in media format made perfect sense but I couldn’t help but reflect on a time gone by.  Military Modelling Magazine was the single biggest influence on my modelling journey so I found it sad that the magazine was no longer.  That said I stopped buying it many years ago so I guess in the scheme of things I played my part in its demise.

One of life’s realities is you cannot stand in the way of progress and change, however, the older I get the more I find myself reflecting on a time gone by and wishing that I could.

Ah, nostalgia, it ain’t what it used to be!

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New Year Resolution Update

As we have nearly reached the half way mark for the year I thought I would undertake an assessment of my 2019 goals.

So far the models from 2018 which I should have done in 2017 after I started them in 2016 having bought the figures in 2015 for the ideas I had in 2014 are still sitting there.

Still, six months to go before year end!

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Hotel California by the Eagles.  With the weather shit in the UK, or at least down in the south west, I needed the warmth of some Arizona and Califonia sunshine.  Where better to look than this album?

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Walk The Line.  A Johnny Cash bio pic starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon.  A great film with an excellent sound track.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 4)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures and Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This weeks mini is Balian D’Ibelin, another limited edition figure by Giants in Miniature.  This one is number 324/500.  The figure is based on the character played by Orlando Bloom in the film Kingdom of Heaven.

The crosses on the tunic and shield are all freehand work.  The tunic was especially difficult, trying to get the crosses roughly the same size and shape proved time consuming but overall I am please with how the figure turned out.  The photo’s on the other hand don’t look as sharp on the laptop as they do on my tablet so might have to revisit them at some point!

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The Torquay Show

When I was at the Torquay show a couple of weeks ago I made 3 purchases.  First up was a 54mm Space Marine.  Not sure if it was a good buy in the end or not but at some point I will get around to doing it.

Next up I bought an Orc bust.  I’ve never painted a bust before (although I have seen plenty of busts I’d like to get my hands on!) and thought maybe, just maybe I would give it a go.

Lastly, I bought some weathering pencils.  Had never heard about these but they seemed like a good idea if they work and as they were pretty inexpensive I bought a couple.  Anyone ever used these?  I’ll let you know what I think of them in due course.

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Pinterest

Not sure how many of you are familiar with the app Pinterest but I find it a great source for modelling ideas and must thank She Who Must Be Obeyed for recommending it to me.  The app throws up all kinds of interesting stuff too such as this life quote which I have dedicated to SWMBO.

“Marriage is like a deck of cards.  In the beginning you need two hearts and a diamond.  By the end you need a club and a spade”.

We’ve not quite reached the end game yet and it’s far from clear who is holding what cards but I’m certain SWMBO has a few up her sleeve.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Lou Reed.  Transformer is a classic album and a big favourite of mine.  I love every track and could have chosen any one.  Take a Walk On The Wild Side perhaps being the most obvious but in the end I went with Satellite of Love.  Sadly Lou is no longer with us and my youth slowly continues to die and roll a way but …

… the music lives on.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Straw Dogs.  The 1971 original, not the the 2011 remake which I have never watched.  Why?  Simple, never fuck with a classic, especially one directed by Sam Peckinpah.

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Sam Peckinpah who was renowned for his slow motion scenes of violence.  The film stars a young Dustin Hoffman and the gorgeous Susan George.  Kleenex sales rocketed off the back of her performance.  Set in “inbred Cornwall” where many similar real life characters can still be found to this day!

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

 

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 3)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures and Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This weeks mini is none other than Lord Flashheart himself.  Just couldn’t wait to paint this one so everything else was pushed to one side.  I just had to dooooooo it!

The only comment I would make on the paint job is in respect of his coat.  When you watch the clip (see last weeks post) it is clear his trench coat has a waxed kind of shine to it.  It certainly isn’t matt that’s for sure.  To replicate it I simply applied a medium gloss varnish.

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The Torquay Show

To give the show its correct title it is the IPMS Torbay and South Devon show which is located in Torquay.  For those of you who do not know, Torquay is situated along the coast line known as the English Riviera and is famous for its herds of Wildebeest.  For further information on Torquay you may wish to check out this very informative tourist video clip.

The show isn’t the biggest in the South West, that accolade belongs to the Plymouth show which is being held at the end of next month.  Nonetheless the show is a reasonable size with around 25 plus clubs in attendance along with a good number of traders.  This was my first ever visit and it didn’t disappoint.  Having gone to a few shows now I have started to recognise some familiar faces all of which adds to the enjoyment of the occasion.

There were some great models on display and I never cease to be amazed by either the standard on display or by the variety and imagination of the modellers themselves.  Shows can be a great source of ideas and this one was know different.

I didn’t take many photo’s on account of a low battery but I managed to take a couple.

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The event also has an annual competition which I decided to enter.  My first entry was in the Single Figure category and I elected to submit my Rooster Cogburn, True Grit figure.  The model came third overall which I was happy with, not least of all because the category is a popular one.

https://theimperfectmodeller.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/rooster-cogburn-54mm-andrea-miniature-september-neglected-challenge/

In the Fantasy Category I entered The Dragon Slayer.  This one came a very respectable second.

https://theimperfectmodeller.wordpress.com/2018/08/10/the-dragon-slayer-a-28mm-reaper-miniatures-diorama-the-august-challenge/

My third and final entry was in the Diorama Category and I decided to go with my newly finished The Wizard’s Library.

https://theimperfectmodeller.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/the-wizard-library-28mm-box-diorama-part-3-final/

Much to my delight this one came first in its category for which I not only got a certificate but a rather nice personal trophy to go with it.  Thinking that was it for the day and feeling more than a little chuffed with my first ever modelling win I then had another very pleasant surprise.  Unbeknown to me at the time, the event also has a Best In Show category which is determined by electing an overall winner from all the individual winning categories.  I’m not often lost for words but I was on this occasion when I heard my name called out.

All in all a great day.

 

 

 

There is a post script to this story though.

As much as I was pleased on a personal level I was also delighted with the recognition of the scale.  My experience to date is a little limited as I have only been to about a dozen shows but typically 28mm/32mm scale doesn’t get a look in.  Considered understandably to some extent as War Gaming scale it rarely has a chance up against the far more popular scales of 1/32nd or 1/35th which dominate every competition category.  Strike one for the mini figs! Category winners, again in my limited experience, invariably seem to come from the WW2 genre so a Wizard win was also something of shock too.  Strike two for mini figs fantasy genre!

So, why did this one win?   That’s a question I’ve asked myself a few times since the show.  Obviously it would be great to repeat a winning formula but that is easier said than done.  Personally I think its success on the day was simply down to the fact that it was different but hey, who cares?

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What Next?

UK Local Elections followed by …

UK European Elections followed by …

The Blacksmiths Arms Survey.

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What next?

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This Week TIM has been listening to …

… Madness and One Step Beyond.

I do like a bit of Madness from time to time and this track is a personal favorite.  There is a reason.

I love my football (soccer), have done since the age of about 5 when my dad took me to my first match.  Coming from south west London we are a family of Chelsea fans.  I wont bore you with football tales, of which there are many, this is a modelling blog after all and I’m guessing most of you have little or no interest in the game.  The track however is very popular amongst us Chelsea fans and never more so than last week when we won the UEFA cup.

At this point you are free to boo and hiss!

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This week TIM has been watching …

… The Shawshank Redemption.

It’s been a while since I watched this one but whenever I do it never fails to impress.  Simply an excellent film.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

 

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 2)

Welcome to this weeks edition of Miniatures and Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This weeks mini is Blanche from Hasslefree Miniatures.

Now I don’t know how many of you believe in reincarnation but for those of you who do it might interest you to know this figure is based on a real women I dated in a past life. According to the therapist who undertook my hypnotherapy I was by all accounts to hot for her to handle.

John at Just Needs Varnish was disappointed by last weeks post, he thought the word “miniatures” in the title was a reference to small bottles of whisky. Never one to disappoint my audience the last photo is just for you John!

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Torquay Model Show

On Saturday I went to the Torquay model show, my first show of the year.  Next week when I have a little more time (hopefully) I will include a proper review.  Meanwhile treat this as a teaser and try not to get to excited!

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Lord Flash

Every now and then along comes a figure that in my humble opinion no miniature collection would be compete without. Such a figure is Lord Flash.  The figure is limited to 500 castings and mine is number 192. So cool is this figure that I think I will have to buy another couple before they sell out.

The figure is by Giants in Miniature and was purchased through North Star at a cost of £3.50 plus postage.  I have added a YouTube clip to wet your appetite further.  Now just go and buy one.  You know you want to!

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Random Questions

I suspect we have all been put in the position where from out of the blue someone asks a totally random question to which they want an answer. My most recent example of this phenomenon came from my daughter last week. There I was sitting at my desk painting away when she asked “Dad, after so many years of marriage why do you still call mum darling, beautiful or sweet heart?”. I wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that question at first but in the end settled for telling her the truth. “Well, I completely forgot her name five years ago and I’ve been to scared to ask her ever since”.

Not sure she believed me but she went away happy.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Gold Radio.

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Gold Radio is a digital station which plays music from the 60′, 70′ and 80’s and with very little interruption from either adverts or DJ’s. It allows me to sing a long and wallow in nostalgia. On a good day it helps to switch off from all the shit in the world.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Rocket Man.

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Went to the cinema on Sunday with With She who Thinks She Must Be Obeyed Too to see the Elton John Biopic.  Having been working so hard for her GCSE exams she needed a break and was keen to see it.  We had gone to see Bohemian Rhapsody a while back which she enjoyed so we hoped for more of the same, allowing for the  obvious differences of course.

Our joint verdict as we drove home was that the film was OK but not a patch on Bo Rhap. (get me, Bo Rhap, that’s what comes from hanging out with the kids!)  Elton has had a very colourful life and his music is great so all the ingredients were there for telling a remarkable story.  Unfortunately the director took these quality ingredients and served up a shit pie.  Enjoyable but more like Mama Mia than Bo Rhap. It could have been so much more.

Win some, lose some.

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Until next time.

TIM

TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 1)

After a certain amount of deliberation I have decided to rebrand The News at TIMMid Week Musings.  It’s no big deal and to some extent very little has changed but as I mentioned in last weeks Musings, I felt the need for some minor changes and as such it felt like a good idea to reflect that in the title of the post.

So, welcome to the first of TIM’s Miniatures & Musings!

So what has actually changed?  Well for this post and probably every subsequent one not a great deal other than I now plan to include a completed miniature in every post.  The thing is a short while ago I made significant change to my modelling, a return to single figure painting albeit in 28mm scale instead of 54mm.  I’m still doing my vignettes and dioramas and these will be the feature of my Saturday posts but with no real outlet for the single figures I am doing, and not much to say about them either, I thought I would give them some feature space of their own.  So, without further ado let’s move on to …

TIM’S Mid Week Miniature

As this is the first post I thought I would kick us off with a double bill, two figure by Crooked Dice.  They actually come as a pair under the title “Best of Enemies”.  Clearly modeled on the characters James Bond and  Ernst Blofeld.  Wonderfully sculptured figures in my opinion and a joy to paint.  The only minor thing of note was using black gloss paint to highlight the seem on Bond’s DJ trousers (barely visible in the photos annoyingly!)  I can’t remember the last time I used a gloss paint that wasn’t metallic.

For the final photo I dug out my copy of Casino Royal from my complete set of Bond books (The centenary additions with fantastic artwork on all the covers) and my old Corgi diecast Aston Martin DB5, clearly not to scale!

I guess you either love Bond or you don’t.  I guess I’m drawn to him because of the similarities between us!

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Time zones

Despite having spent most of my working life employed by an international bank and being aware of when the world woke up and when I could expect to make that all important phone call, I find the concept of time zones hard to get my head around.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the science of the earths rotation and day and night but I struggle to comprehend that while I’m getting up in the UK to begin a new day some of you in Australia are about to go to bed while my American friends are all tucked up nice and warm and still fast a sleep.

The idea that I can be eating my porridge and knocking back my first caffeine fix of the day while corresponding with IRO, Pat or Azazel who have been to work, had their tea, watched TV, converted and painted a figure or two and who are now sitting in their PJ’s having cleaned their teeth in readiness to go to bed is a little weird.  Meanwhile the likes of  Mark in America are tucked up in bed oblivious to it all.

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Thought for the week?

Have you ever wondered why …

… the time of day with the slowest traffic is called the rush hour?

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Kick Ass the movie.

The foreground features the superhero Kick-Ass in his green and yellow costume. Against a black background the words KICK-ASS are written in yellow block capitals.

Having mentioned in a recent post that I had never seen the film I manged to get hold of a brand new copy on DVD and sat and watched it with my daughter.  I wasn’t disappointed and loved the Banana Splits scene.  I suspect the sequel wont be as good but we will watch it on Netflix anyway.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… Oasis and Morning Glory.

I like a lot of Oasis tracks but this one, mainly because I like the intro, is a particular favourite.  Just such a shame that the Gallagher brothers come across as such a couple of twats.

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Until next time.

TIM

 

 

 

 

The News at TIM – Mid Week Musings (No: 51)

Welcome to this weeks Musings!

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Why did God Invent Modelling?

Well I will tell you.  It has a lot to do with switching off from things you can do fuck all about.  Let me explain.

In the words of hippy Neil from the comedy series “The Young Ones” this week has been “heavy man”.

The state of the UK and the rest of the world is in a bad way.

In the case of the UK the Brexit process has shown that irrespective of whether you voted to remain or leave the European Union our politicians are for the most part not fit for purpose.  Not really a surprise but shocking to learn that so many of them are seemingly in it for their own ends and completely out of touch with the people.  Quite where the country goes from here remains to be seen but I feel certain that in years to come when we look back this period will prove to have been highly significant.

If that wasn’t enough to worry about the state of our oceans, the direct result of dumping our waste in them, is coming back to haunt us big time.  The environmental impact is according to scientists devastating our marine life and the planet as a whole.

Still, like everything the foregoing needs to be kept in perspective.  In this case it doesn’t much matter what the UK does or what happens to our marine life because unless we get our fingers out we will all be fucked in 10 years time or so as a result of climate change. One way or another the future looks bleak.  What can we do?

On a personal level the UK will do what the UK does and I guess I will get on with it and come the next election hope I can cast a vote in favour of the political party most in line with my personal thinking.  In the case of marine life if I give up eating fish then I am probably doing as much as I can to help the little buggers survive along side recycling.  As for climate change I reckon I can cope with rising see levels and high winds.  I live a decent height above see level and if the winds keep blowing my fencing down then so be it.  I simply wont bother to repair the fence and that’s fine by me.  Truth is it is a token gesture.  The world needs to address the two biggest problems, I cannot do that on my own.

Is there anything else I can do?

Well, yes there is.  I can pick up a brush, a model and some paints and shut myself away from a world that has gone barking mad.  Come to think about it I’ve been doing that for years.

And that my friends is why God invented modelling.

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Strange but True

No canaries live on the Canary Islands.
The same holds true for the Virgin Islands…
Not a single canary …

… and not a lot of people know that!

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Line of Duty series 5, the finale.

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Once again Line of Duty gripped the nation.  OK so it gripped about 10 or 11 million but we have a load more channels these days (and still very little on!) so I guess the days of 20 to 30 million people tuning in to watch something when we only had a couple of channels are long gone.  I digress.

As with series 1 through to 4 it proved to be a most enjoyable watch.  The final episode contained a few twist and turns but in case you haven’t watched it and are planning to I will say know more.  All I will say is the theory my daughter and I came up with was on the money.

Looking forward to series 6 already.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… IRO’s podcast and hearing him going on and bloody on!

The link for episode 2 is below.

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/episode-2-chernobyl-bond-and-the-fire/id1461396488?i=1000437049303

In last weeks Musings article under this heading I didn’t mention that I had listened to the first episode and all I have had since is IRO on my case getting all upset and emotional the way only he can.  So, in an effort to ensure his stay in rehab is a short lived one I thought I would give him a shout out this week (the guy is so insecure).

The first thing to say is that the photo of him and his mate Warren (that name evokes memories of Ronnie Barker and Porridge) is either very old or IRO is wearing a wig or has gotten himself a new hat.  A minor detail.  On a positive note the lads have clearly attracted at least one very sensible, clever and almost certainly good looking and astute follower who pointed out that the initial podcast was amateurish but all the better for it.  The same can also be said for episode 2.  The two episodes do have one other thing in common and that is IRO’s mate once again steals the show!

I’m joking of course.

As with the first episode I seriously did enjoy it and IRO and Warren have a great rapport with each other (which doubtless is of concern to their wives) but like Line of Duty I will say no more for fear of spoiling it for anyone who hasn’t yet tuned in.  It is fun and I really do like the guys pub style banter and I am genuinely looking forward to episode 3 which is out now.

(How was that for you IRO, OK?  Great.  Now would you please, please, please leave me alone, it’s fucking embarrassing!)

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Until next time.

TIM

 

The News at TIM – Mid Week Musings (No: 50)

Welcome to this weeks Musings, my 50th such post!  Yep, that’s right, I’ve been writing this shit for quite a while.  So who is the sadder, me for writing such bollocks or you for reading it?  Hopefully there is life in the old dog blog yet so let’s see where the journey takes us.  I’m guessing not very far!

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What Was it I Said?

I gave up figuring out women a long time ago and was reminded why I did following a recent conversation I had with She Who Must Be Obeyed.  Even the innocence of our little hobby can be the unwitting cause of much angst.  Reader beware!

Having just finished painting a Reaper Wizard with a long white beard SWMBO, who was was kindly delivering me a cup of tea at the time, said “He looks nice” to which I replied “Thank you, like all old men their features get more interesting with age which adds a lot of charachter”.  An innocent comment to my mind and probably to the mind of any sane human being but of course SWMBO doesn’t fall into that category.

The following conversation ensued.

“So are you saying women don’t age well?”

“No, but men often lose their hair, go white or grey, get craggy facial features and despite a slight belly manage to carry off a distinguished look as they grow older, a lot like me if you like”

“And women don’t do this?”

“Well you don’t” (as I look back this might have been where I made an error)

“What do you mean I don’t? Are you saying I’m fat?

“No, but you are past your prime and if you allowed yourself to age naturally you would have grey hair too.  You also use some make up which isn’t exactly natural is it?” (then again it might have been here)

“So you don’t like the way I look now!”

“I didn’t say that!

“Well I hope you choke on your tea!”  She then stormed off and went into a sulk.

Go figure.  Women.

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Local Elections and The Vicar Of Dibley (any reference to real people is purely coincidental)

This week I have done very little painting, truth be told I am suffering withdrawal symptoms.  This cannot continue and hopefully after today things will kick off again, they seriously need to otherwise I will have sod all for Saturday’s post and I can’t allow that to happen.  So why have you not been painting TIM I hear you ask?  Well quite simply TIM is now an elected Parish Councillor for the West Devon Parish where I live.  We will call the village Wankville just in case by using the real name it comes up on a Google search.

Now I’m going to take a bit of a punt here (that’s punt with a P) and say that none of you are familiar with the village of Wankville.  I will take another punt and say a fair few of you have heard of the TV series starring Dawn French which goes by the title of The Vicar of Dibley.  Now if as I suspect some of you are familiar with the series then you will now be able to conjure up a near perfect image of Wankville Parish Council if you extract a fat female vicar by the name of Geraldine and replace her in your mind with a fat male farmer called Brian (not his real name).

So how has this kept me from modelling and why did I chose to become a Parish Councillor?  Well this week is the lead up to the local elections and on Thursday comes the actual voting.  There is work to be done but not a great deal, mainly because of how the system works.  The Wankville Parish Council comprises of 8 seats and as only 8 candidates put their names forward then there is nothing to contest so all the candidates get elected.  Easy.  Well so you would think.

Unfortunately the parishioners of Wankville, commonly known as Wankers, comprises mainly of morons; the cumulative effect of village idiots relocating over the course of many years and then interbreeding.  Not only is the local demographic distorted by intelligence it is also out of alignment in other ways too.  The level of lazy fucking Wankers is well in excess of the national norm, running at about 95% based on the last census and how you interpret the data.  Add to this the Wankers ability to moan aligned to their ability to do fuck all and you start to build up a pretty good image of how Wankville operates on a daily basis.

Now I appreciate that most of you do not know me from Adam but it is not in my nature to sit on my arse and watch the village I have retired to continue to be run by the Wanker faction.  As far as I am concerned the days when 8 people gather in a small room huddled around a small wooden table with a wobbly leg to discuss the ins and outs of a cows intestine are about to change (I hope).

Can you anticipate further tales from Wankville in future posts?  I cannot promise but we will wait and see.  The Council meets every two months with the first meeting in May.

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This week TIM has been watching …

… Kick-Ass.  To be more specific the final scene.

After I posted my “Get out of my fucking room” mini dio last Saturday my brother emailed me to say that the little girl reminded him of the one in this movie.  He included a link to the YouTube scene which appears below.  I have to say I love the scene.  How this movie passed me by I have no idea but just as soon as I can I will watch it.

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This week TIM has been listening to …

… The Dickies and Banana Splits.

Sticking with the Kick-Ass theme my brother also told me that this track featured in the film, a song I like as I also remember the TV show as a kid.  Now I do like a bit of punk, The Sex Pistols immediately spring to mind with “Anarchy In The UK” being a personal favorite (I’ve also included that link because I love it”!), so I did enjoy this as well.  One way or another I’ve got to see that film in full and soon!

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Until next time.

TIM